it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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