Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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