so explain again why im purple
no
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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