This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
