I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
