Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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