Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
...so i touched it.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
