They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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