lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
