so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
