It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
