Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
