Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
