): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
