Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize