I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
tell me about the eggs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
