Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
