he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
