im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
