i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
