whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize