Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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