dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just had sex bonerless
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
