sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
