? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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