God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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