Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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