i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
