its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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