I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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