i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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