Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
