Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
