I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
