Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize