I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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