I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize