I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
