i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
