We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
