Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
