You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
