so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
