Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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