We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
