Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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