I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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