I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm like, not good at living.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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