Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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