Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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