Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
