On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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