Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
