Me too!
I faked an abortion last night.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
