pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
