he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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