You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
