This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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