just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
