The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize